


As It Should Be

by ExhaustedCommonSense



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Canon Trans Character, Dysphoria, F/F, Gender Dysphoria, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 17:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12916617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExhaustedCommonSense/pseuds/ExhaustedCommonSense
Summary: Sometimes, when the days are bad, she will leave her body behind her and take refuge within her cluster.





	As It Should Be

Sometimes.

When she feels like the slightest touch will rip her paper-thin skin to shreds.

_It’s fake. It’s all fake. Her mother was right all along. Everything that should be true is fake._

Sometimes.

When she wants to grab the nearest object and rip, to claw, scratch, and tear her way out.

_I’m here! She wants to scream. It’s not right. It’s never right. She’s stuck. She’s caged._

Sometimes.

When it all becomes too much and not even Amanita’s love will keep the demons at bay.

_Her reassurances battle with her mothers sneering remarks. She’s never sure who will win._

* * *

 

Sometimes, when the days are bad, she will leave her body behind her and take refuge within her cluster. Riley, Kala, and Sun are always more than welcoming. They all spare the time to let her take over, to experience life as it should have been from the start. To help her realize that it’s no different.

Sun is the best at stepping back. She recognizes the trapped feeling that Nomi can’t hide and allows her in without a second thought. Often, she will leave to visit another cluster mate, knowing that Nomi doesn’t want conversation or company. Other times, she sits and watches as Nomi moves her body and experiences it with her.

Kala is the best at comforting. She books whole days off work to make time for spa days and shopping. Anything that will help her feel more at ease. She stays and talks, but she doesn’t care if Nomi doesn’t respond. It can be nice to know you’re not alone. The constant conversation helps to ground her.

Riley is the best at relating. She knows how it feels to hate yourself and she’s learnt how to stop the downward spiral of depression. She reminds Nomi of Amanita, of love and of friendship. Their family love her; her cluster see her as she is, as she should be.

The others in her cluster become vague to her on these days. They make a concentrated effort to step back, refusing to make her feel worse accidentally. She loves them all and all of the kindness and thoughtless acceptance that they offer.

* * *

 

Sometimes.

When she feels more at home in her body and her confidence cannot be broken.

_Her mother is drowned out in a wave of love. Amanita is leading the charge._

Sometimes, when she is exactly as she should be, Nomi leans back into her lovers arms and lets her joy spread to her cluster.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: [@exhaustedcommonsense](https://exhaustedcommonsense.tumblr.com)


End file.
